On the last post, I left off explaining how my answer to being optimistic is going to take a few follow-ups to tease out. I want to make sure I explain well instead of leaving holes in my answer and leave you wondering. One thing to remember is this is my experience and not everybody will agree or have the same outcome, but I am hoping it will be of some help. So enough rambling and let’s get down to business.
The biggest shift in me being this optimistic person is when my dad passed away. I knew there was nothing positive about him having a few months to live. All I could think at first was how my world, how my family’s world, would change negatively. I couldn’t imagine my life without my dad and I didn’t want to accept it. At the same time, I didn’t want to fall into an endless cycle of negativity.
At this point, I couldn’t think of anything positive to take away from losing my dad. I thought to myself, “is there anything, anything, I can do to make the whole ordeal a little better?” That’s when everything came to me. I could either sit and mope about losing him or I could try to enjoy my last moments with him; I chose the latter.
All I could think was making time from college so I could spend my free time with my dad. After he passed away, I was devastated but who wouldn’t? However, even after his passing, I was happy but in a different sense. How and why?
Because I knew no one or anything could take away the memories we, my family, created with my dad. I would think to myself, “why would I indulge in hopelessness if I would only dig a deeper hole to sink in.” Why would I do that to myself? So I focused on the positive aspects of the whole ordeal. I focused on everyone who was there to support me and because of that, I was able to see I wasn’t alone. I was able to see the positive in a negative situation by experiencing and acknowledging what was in front of me. I was able to get both aspects and chose the better option moving forward.
The whole process wasn’t easy and don’t think for a moment I didn’t have a down period because I did. Those close to me knew I wasn’t the same and it took me about a year or so to adjust. So my mentality wasn’t something I managed to shift in a few days or weeks. Adjusting took a long time and I wouldn’t have been able to accomplish it if I lost focus. How did I manage to keep focus you ask?
Well, a few things but I’ll save it for the next follow-up. Yes, I know, I keep cutting it right where the light of the answer is about to show, but tune in for the next post and maybe, just maybe, my answer will be there…maybe.