On my previous post, I explained how my dad’s passing shifted my mindset to focus on a more positive outcome in a negative situation. I understand not everyone has experienced such drastic change as losing a parent, but we all have experienced some sort of negative situation. The great thing about our mindset is that we can adjust and adapt and what ultimately helped me, and I hope it’s of some help to you, was focusing on my mentality.
So what did help me keep focus? Well, the biggest part was something my dad always told me, “don’t sour your life.” Don’t sour your life. I know right, all this waiting for four words (five if you want to get technical), but how could something so simple help me during one of the biggest change in my life? Well, it’s more than a phrase to me, much more. You see, whenever I felt down on anything or was mad at someone or something, my dad always told me, “don’t sour your life?”
I never really understood what he meant by that. All I wanted to do, at the moment, was take out my frustrations or mope in my feelings. Though, the more he said, “don’t sour your life,” the more I understood. How did his advice help? Well, to make it clear I’ll give a few examples that are hopefully relatable.
For instance, when something doesn’t go according to plan, like going on a trip and suddenly having to cancel, instead of focusing so much on the negative, souring your life, say, “hey there’s always a next time.” Focusing on the brighter side won’t come easy and don’t get me wrong, don’t take it as it’s not okay to feel angry, frustrated, or annoyed that you had to cancel a trip because it’s completely normal. However, rather than moping about it, making it more negative, acknowledge what happened and move forward.
Another example I’m sure we all have experienced at some point is unexpected surprises, unwanted surprises. Some examples are getting a ticket, an assignment due date moving sooner, missing a payment (it happens), etc. Instead of being upset or going through the same negative motion over and over again, try shifting to the optimistic side. Yes, getting a ticket sucks. Yes, having an assignment due sooner than expected sucks, but hey, instead of making the situation harder than what it already is, make it better.
Focusing on making your life better can be applied to any situation. Some will be harder than others but the goal will be the same. In some cases, the process may take longer to reach the end goal, but hey, at least we’ll be making our life easier. At the end, you want to have a life you can smile about and create wonderful memories. Don’t think for a moment that it’s too late to change. The greatest thing about humans is that we can change and adapt.
Also, don’t focus too much on past experiences. I think past experiences are useful in the sense that we learn and grow from them but dwelling on the past won’t help. Instead, focus on the future, making things right and easier to move forward.
I’m not aiming for an objective answer, but rather hoping I can aid you through a subjective one. We are all different and have experienced different things in life which makes it impossible to have one answer, one way, to have an optimistic mentality. I do hope you are able to gather some ideas as to how you can better your life, as to how you can become optimistic.